Shannen Doherty struggled with the idea of undergoing chemotherapy again before her death at age 53.
The actress, who lost her years-long battle with stage 4 breast cancer on Saturday, talked about her cancer treatments on one of her final podcast episodes released June 24.
“I’m having to go back on chemo and it’s really hard,” Doherty said on “Let’s Be Clear.”
“The idea of going through that all over again has wrecked me.”
“It’s wrecked me in the sense of, yes, I knew I had stage 4 and yes, I knew it was really serious, but when you have to go to the hospital and you have to get put under [and] a port put in you, it becomes very real in an incredibly different way,” she added.
The “Beverly Hills, 90210” star said at the time she had “no idea” how long she’d be on chemo for.
“I have no idea if it’s going to be, you know, three months or if it’s going to be six months, or if after three months it’s not working, if we’re going to change again,” she explained.
“That’s not something that I can predict,” Doherty noted. “It’s not something my doctors can predict. And it’s scary.”
Doherty said going through chemo was “a big wake up call” for her, and that between her cancer battle and her divorce from husband Kurt Iswarienko, she felt like her “life has been unknown.”
“It’s like I have no grasp on it and I have no control,” she elaborated. “And most people who know me know that I’m like a control freak. I like to control things. And with cancer, there’s really no controlling it. It doesn’t matter how much research I do. It doesn’t matter how much like natural, holistic, like, believe me, you guys, I try everything.”
“I’m very much a person who is open to all of that,” Doherty said. “And it doesn’t help me. And medicine and science has kept me alive and helped me the longest.”
One month before her death, Doherty was seen with her friends in Malibu in the last public photos of the beloved star.
Doherty, her longtime pal Chris Cortazzo, and a female friend walked out of Kristy’s waterfront restaurant on June 16. Cortazzo had his arm wrapped around Doherty.
The “Charmed” alum wore flared jeans and an oversized button-down T-shirt paired with black newsboy cap. She carried a brown paper bag in her arms.
Doherty was initially diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015, enduring a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation. She went into remission in 2017, but in February 2020, shared she was battling Stage 4 breast cancer.
She was extremely open about her cancer battle over the last several years.
In June 2023, Doherty shared a clip on Instagram of “what cancer can look like” before she underwent brain surgery.
“I am clearly trying to be brave but I am petrified,” Doherty wrote. “The fear was overwhelming to me. Scared of all possible bad outcomes, worried about leaving my mom and how that would impact her. Worried that I would come out of surgery not me anymore.”
Later that year, she said in an interview with People that she wasn’t ready to die.
“I’m not done with living. I’m not done with loving. I’m not done with creating. I’m not done with hopefully changing things for the better. I’m just not — I’m not done,” Doherty said.
