Not Everyone Has the Privilege of Being Radically Honest. Here’s Why.

Honesty may be a virtue, but we don’t all experience it the same way. Sure, there’s collective power in breaking down stigmas by openly talking about them. But for certain groups, being open about such issues can be difficult — even dangerous. In PS’s Radical Honesty Issue, we’re tackling everything from substance abuse to mental health to sex, and we have people from a wide range of identities speaking about these topics.

“Honesty is something that carries a lot of privilege,” says Dior Vargas, MPH, a mental health activist. “Regardless of whether you’re a celebrity or an everyday person, people who are white are usually able to be more open and honest about what they’re going through.”

We spoke to experts about what the “honesty privilege” really is, why it can be difficult for certain groups to be open about stigmatized issues, and why making honesty more accessible and equitable would help us all.

Experts Featured in This Article:

Dior Vargas, MPH, a mental health activist who works on DEI issues in the workplace.

Lourdes Dolores Follins, PhD, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, writer, and public speaker addressing the mental health and well-being of queer, trans, and intersex people of color.

Kristen Casey, PsyD, is an author, mental health content creator, and founder and owner of Evolve Psychological Services.

What Is the Honesty Privilege?

According to Vargas, the honesty privilege is very much tied into who we, as a society, have historically afforded privilege — typically rich, white men. Meanwhile, holding any identity that deviates from this norm can impact someone’s ability to open up. As Vargas explains, “If there are negative stereotypes about one of your marginalized identities, it can be very scary to be open about another identity that further marginalizes you. Sometimes we’re just trying to be as ‘normal’ as we can be so that we don’t have to deal with additional discrimination or additional stereotypes.”

“It can be very scary to be open about another identity that further marginalizes you.”

Psychotherapist Lourdes Dolores Follins, PhD, LCSW, echoes that. “Historically, white cis heterosexual men and some white cis heterosexual women have been praised for their ‘courage’ to be publicly vulnerable,” she says. “I believe this is especially true if they are people who are famous and have legions of people who look up to them.”

Why Is It Difficult For Some Groups to Be Honest About Stigmatized Topics?

For celebrities and everyday folks alike, when we’re from a specific marginalized community, we can also be “seen as a representative of our entire culture,” Vargas explains. “So that in itself carries a lot of pressure and a lot of weight, so I think that’s also something that will make people shy away from being open and honest with whatever mental health concerns they have.”

Historically, stereotypes about people of color and queer folks have been “weaponized” when it comes to more sensitive topics. As Dr. Follins explains, these folks’ decision to share their struggles with issues like substance abuse is used by mainstream media “to further demonize” them. “Our courage and vulnerability are held up as ‘proof’ of our ‘defectiveness’ and ‘immorality,'” she says.

And for some cultures and communities, these issues can be highly stigmatized. In many Asian immigrant communities, for example, the conversation around therapy and mental health looks different than it does in white American culture.

Why Should Everyone Be More Honest?

Kristen Casey, PsyD, a licensed psychologist, notes that especially when it comes to issues of mental health, being honest can be extremely beneficial. “When people are experiencing mental-health issues relating to stigmatized topics, one of the best things we can do for them is hold space for them to be honest about their story without judgment — if they have the opportunity to do so,” she says. “But people who are underserved or from minority populations might not have the opportunity to have the safe space for it; not everyone has access to therapy or the social support.” There can also be a lot of distrust from minority communities around the US health-care system, given our long legacy of medical racism and misogyny, Dr. Casey notes.

Ultimately, it’s the “system itself” that keeps certain groups from being radically honest and getting help in their own lives, Vargas adds. “But if it’s clear more people are going through these issues, that would hopefully increase more actions being taken in order to remove those obstacles.”

For Follins, we would all benefit from allowing folks of all backgrounds to be equally as honest about what they’re going through. “I believe if we lived in a society where care was what we led with, people might feel less confined and stifled, which means people might be more forthcoming about their lives, hopes, dreams, and challenges,” she says. “In a word, we would each be freer.”