Photo: Apple TV+
For a billionaire with access to seemingly everything she could ever want, Molly is just now learning that there are two problems money can’t fix — other billionaires and matters of the heart. Our girl’s having a rough go of things, and if Loot doesn’t get renewed and this is how this story ends, it will be a travesty. I will be the saddest recapper in history. Molly Wells deserves to go out on some wins, but in the season-two finale, she’s taking a lot of Ls.
Things start off great, by the way. She and Grace are posing for a Vanity Fair cover and article titled “We Shouldn’t Exist,” which is all about how the two of them are attempting to dismantle the billionaire class from inside the house. Their photo shoot is a treat and they look great — even if the direction to “Look generous!” seems complicated. Maya Rudolph and Ana Gasteyer continue to have the most fun together (please don’t take them away from us). But the shoot isn’t really the point — it gives Molly time to download both Grace and Nicholas on the whole Arthur situation. He didn’t touch her “boobs, butt, or front,” but he did touch her hips, and that means something, okay? Grace and Nicholas are sure Arthur is in love with Molly. “He’s gonna be inside of you in like 24 hours tops, trust me,” Nicholas, a true dream assistant, tells her.
Things are going great at the office, too. Not only does Molly get to sit around and listen to people talk about how good she looks on the Vanity Fair cover, but they get some big news: Norman Lofton is interested in learning more about Space for Everyone. Norman Lofton would be a huge get — he’s ten times richer than Molly, and with his money, they wouldn’t need any other donors. He’s also, apparently, quite down to earth. He lives fairly off the grid in Montana, he drives a 20-year-old Camry, and he eats a hamburger every day. But Nicholas does make a good point: “Why do we celebrate being down to earth? I’m on earth right now, and looking around the room, everyone sucks. Bring me to the skies, baby!”
Molly wants to pull out all the stops to win Norman over. It starts with her having him fly on her private jet instead of his usual mode of travel, which is by bus. It sounds like a good idea … until Norman encounters the most violent turbulence you’ve ever seen and the entire team watches in horror as the plane attempts a descent. Norm makes it, but does throw up all of his insides. It puts them at a deficit, for sure.
Now Molly really wants to turn on the charm. They’re stealing Kamala Harris’s favorite children’s choir to perform, they’re filling every room with Coke (the drink), Nicholas is calling his dealer — a woman, you misogynists — for coke (the drug), everyone is doing their part. Everyone except, surprisingly, Sofia. Sofia should be on top of her game, but after Ainsley reminds her that she puts her work before everything in her life and she is destined to walk this world alone and unknown by anyone, Sofia can’t stop thinking about Isaac. When she explains to Molly all the reasons why she broke up with him — “He’s a dreamer, I’m practical; he’s a vegan, I’m not annoying” — Molly has one simple question to ask: Does Sofia love him? And she does. She really does. Molly tells her to take the leap. Nothing else matters. If only Molly could take her own advice.
Unfortunately, Molly’s not feeling so brave after a brief and terrible conversation she has with Arthur about the almost-kiss. He calls it a mistake, you know, because he has a girlfriend, and Molly is his boss, and they’re really good friends. Maya Rudolph is so good in this scene: somehow hilarious and absolutely devastating. Her heart is crushed. No, Arthur will not be inside of her within 24 hours. And probably no one will if they ever hear her “impression” of Mr. Freeze. To be fair, she’s never seen the movie. But also to be fair, she does do that impression aloud to Arthur.
Now, Molly should be stoked because it sounds like Norm is very much in on Space for Everyone. That is, until later that night, when she gets a mysterious note from him asking her to meet for one more chat. She’s driven to a not-so-down-to-earth mansion and led into a room in which she finds … a cabal of billionaires dressed in robes and masks meant to intimidate. Molly’s told that her “activities threaten [their] way” and if she doesn’t stop immediately, there will be consequences. Molly isn’t fooled by idiot billionaires. She walks over, turns on the lights, and tells Norm to take his mask off — she knows it’s him leading this thing. And she’s right. It turns out the whole “Billionaires shouldn’t exist” thing has pissed all of them off. They like the order of things! It works for them. Like, no duh, dude. That’s the problem. Molly is appalled and reminds them all that the world is changing and people won’t accept this. She tells him that she and Grace are going to form their own group and do some actual good — unfortunately, Grace reveals herself behind one of the masks. She really loves money, she tells Molly, and these other billionaires were very convincing! A disappointment, for sure, but if season three were to bring us Molly going head-to-head with a billionaire cabal, I would very much be down for it.
Alas, this means Molly ends up at her house alone, ruminating over her latest failure in securing more funding for the Wells Foundation, when she gets another message — this time, from a friend. It’s Sofia: She went to New Orleans and got her man back. They are so freaking cute, and I am rooting for them. In her text to Molly, Sofia tells her that she took the leap and has no regrets.
Finally, Molly follows her own advice, and it lands her right on Arthur’s doorstep in the middle of the night. She gives him a big, whopping confession about everything she’s been feeling, about how she knows they both feel a connection and that they owe it to themselves “to go for it.” She knows there are “a million reasons it would never work,” but she tells him that she isn’t backing off. Instead, she’s “doubling down.” And she kisses him. And he kisses her back. And friends, even after Molly stops to say, “Oh my God, this is happening,” which is very relatable (see? Molly is down to earth, too!), they both go back for more. All of this is to say that Arthur is very into this also! So when Willa turns on the light behind them and asks what’s going on, all I wanted was for Arthur to turn around and choose Molly right then and there.
Instead, the next thing we know, Molly is distressed and jumping onto her PJ with Nicholas not far behind. But folks! There was a second kiss! Arthur wants this! Alas, we’ve seen Molly run when trouble arises or she’s embarrassed, and as an added layer, Molly knows exactly how it feels to be cheated on. You really can’t fault her for wanting to get as far away as possible — and as a billionaire, you know she has the means to do exactly that.
• Nicholas gets a voice-mail from a “Mysterious Korean Woman” — that’s how he labels her on his phone — and based on the message, he and Howard assume it’s Nicholas’s birth mother looking for him. This sends Nicholas spiraling, by which I mean he gets blackout drunk and leaves her 17 unhinged voice-mails in return. They range from “It’s me, Nicholas, I’m American, I’m hot, and I’m all growned up. What’s up, Mama?” to a sobbing one about how he cannot believe The Shape of Water won an Oscar. In the end, it turns out to be a Korean casting director looking to have him audition for a show that’s “like Squid Game but more violent and sexual.”
• Sweet Nicholas! The disappointment on his face when he learns it wasn’t his birth mother will break your heart. When Molly tells him to choose wherever he wants to go when they’re on the escape PJ, you know exactly where he’s going to send their plane.
• Loot season three needs to happen for so many reasons, but at the top of my list is seeing Molly and Nicholas in Korea together. Can you imagine them trying to find his birth mother together in a foreign country? Okay, I am imagining it, and I love it so much.
• Nicholas and Howard’s friendship remains a delight. When Nicholas returns and asks if Howard remembers the Korean voice-mail he had him listen to, Howard’s response is “Remember it? I’ve thought of nothing else!” He’s a real one.
• Speaking of, when times are tough, I want Rhonda on my team: “FYI, I just got waxed, so I can do anything.”
• This has really become the all-Nicholas-all-the-time section, but one more: “I once masturbated to The Holiday so many times they had to take me to the ER. What’s for lunch?” A perfect note to end on, really.
