Adam Nimoy has boldly gone where no fan has gone before.
The son of the late “Star Trek” actor Leonard Nimoy has written a “reverential” but warts-and-all memoir about his “complicated” relationship with his dad that reveals just how worlds apart they were for most of their lives.
“You know, it’s not ‘Mommie Dearest.’ I do spill some blood on the page, but I’m always reverential of him, always prideful of the work he did,” he told The Post about pulling together “The Most Human: Reconciling With My Father, Leonard Nimoy,” available starting Tuesday, June 4.
“Like Spock, Dad was not the warm and fuzzy type,” Adam writes about Leonard, who died in 2015 at age 83, and the iconic half-human, half-Vulcan role that he played for three seasons in the original 1966-89 series and six movie sequels, as well as J.J. Abrams’ more recent series of film reboots.
“Dad had trouble expressing his feelings toward me except when it came to disappointment and anger,” Adam, a recovering alcoholic, confesses in the memoir, sadly adding that “all conflict ended up in anger, resentment, and frustration. We simply had no constructive way to talk about stuff, and I could often sense his disappointment with me, that in his eyes, I didn’t measure up.”
He constantly struggled with “trying to get him to be the father I wanted him to be,” he wrote.
When disagreements arose — whether at home or on set — it often was futile to hope for a positive resolution.
“He butted heads with everybody. You don’t f–k with Leonard. You just don’t. He does not take prisoners,” Adam told The Post. “He can get angry real fast. And there was no way I was ever going to win with him.”
Adam realizes that realization could surprise some of his dad’s longtime fans.
“One of my favorite stories is when I had one of these knock-down drag-outs with my dad, and then I went to the cleaners to get my shirts,” he says. “And when the guy found out I was related to Leonard Nimoy, he just went on and on about how great Leonard Nimoy was.
“And it was just, like, ‘OK, I just need my shirts, please.’ I’ve dealt a lot with that. The public has a perception of public figures.”
Yet, despite their ongoing father-son disconnect that led to periods of estrangement – sometimes years-long – he shared that he was a fan himself and always proud of his father’s accomplishments, even now reflecting fondly on a set visit to the original series when he was just 10 years old.
“I was in his presence. I was in the presence of Spock — as a fan and as an admirer,” he told The Post. “And with the passage of time, knowing the extent of the impact that he would have on this planet makes it even a greater memory for me.”
Over time, Adam, a director and filmmaker, also was eventually able to better connect with his father in the final years of Leonard’s life with help from friends in addiction recovery, who urged him to make “amends” for his faults to his dad — without expecting the same back from Leonard, who also battled alcohol addiction.
“Don’t take him on. Don’t prove him wrong. Don’t try to be right,” he recalls them advising him. “You got a choice: you can either be right about your dad or you can be happy. That’s your choice — but you can’t have both.”
While somewhat one-sided, it worked, and they were able to set aside much of the angst that plagued them over the years.
“Look, my father did the best he could, and that’s just the way it is,” he told The Post. “I was worlds, I was planets away from Leonard — planets.
“For better or for worse, my relationship with my father was the most important relationship in my life,” he continued. “And it was really difficult and complicated and, you know, sometimes devastating.
“And in the end, really satisfying, I think, is the best word for it.”
Adam Nimoy will take part in a book launch event at 7 p.m. Thursday, June 6, at Barnes & Noble, 2289 Broadway at 82nd Street, Manhattan. He’ll also appear at 7 p.m. Wednesday, June 5, at the Long Beach Public Library, 111 W. Park Ave., Long Beach, and a ticketed book signing at 7 p.m. Friday, June 7, at Bookends, 211 E. Ridgewood Ave., Ridgewood, New Jersey.
