Cones Are the New Sexcessory You May Want in Your Nightstand

When you hear the word cone, you may make think of ice cream, the plastic headpiece your dog wears after a visit to the vet, or the orange markers in a construction zone. But cones are also a type of sex toy that more and more pleasure-seekers are turning to.

“Cones are conically-shaped sex toys that are quite different from other sex toys on the market today,” sex educator Pamela Madsen, founder of Back to the Body, an organization that hosts immersive retreats for women exploring their sexuality and sensuality, says. Usually quite large and weighty, these stationary sex toys are designed to be mounted vaginally or anally to create the sensation of fullness, she explains.

Whether it’s your first time hearing about this type of sex toy or not, you likely have questions about what a sex cone looks like and how to use it. Ahead, here’s everything to know about cones featuring insight from four sex educators. Plus, a round-up of the best cones for sex that you can shop right from home.

What Is a Cone?

As far as the sex toy market is concerned, a cone is simply a cone-shaped device designed with pleasure in mind. With a super sturdy, wide base, cones can be set statically onto the bed, floor, or other surface, and then mounted, explains sex educator Alicia Sinclair, the founder of premium sex machine company The Cowgirl.

The unique girth of these sex toys generally makes them a more optimal choice for so-called “size queens” and “size kings,” says sex and relationship psychotherapist Gigi Engle, an expert at LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi. (For those unfamiliar with the term, size queens and kings are people who prefer to be penetrated by very large penetrative products and parts rather than small ones.) They are also ideal for individuals who are experienced with penetrative play, double penetration, fisting, and stuffing.

Fortunately for those who enjoy a little buzz in their sex toys, there are also vibrating sex cones, which have the added benefit of transmitting vibration to your internal and external erogenous zones, adds Sinclair. These vibrating sex cones are sometimes referred to as portable sex machines, she says. That’s because while most rideable sex machines are shaped and weighted like an ottoman, most vibrating cones can fit right into your backpack for easy transport.

How to Use a Cone, According to Experts

Before getting down with your cone, Sinclair recommends taking a few minutes to pursue the webpage, read the user manual, or watch whatever instructional video that manufacturer offers. This will give you an opportunity to familiarize yourself with the toy and understand its settings and intensities.

Once you understand how the toy works, decide how you want to use it. “Cones are surprisingly versatile for a sex toy,” Engle says. Depending on the user’s pleasure preferences, cones can be used for vaginal or anal penetration, as well as humped or grinded against. Vibrating cones can also be straddled and used to apply vibration to the labia, clitoris, penis, taint, and anal opening.

When you’re ready to play, lather the toy with a water-based lube like Sutil Rich ($19), Hello Cake Toy Wonder ($20) or pJur Back Door Water-Based ($23), since silicone-based lubes can break down the material of the cone if it’s made out of silicone. Then, get to riding.

Given how many different ways there are to use this kind of toy, as you play with your cone, remember that there is no “right” way to do it. Instead, allow yourself to use the cone in whatever ways feel pleasurable to you, Engle suggests.

Madsen recommends mounting the cone by getting on your knees and hovering over it. To do this, simply place the cone on a stable surface like the floor or firm mattress. When you’re ready, position the tip of a sex-toy cone above your opening and slowly slide down, suggests sex expert Cheri Curry, lead executive with Tantus, the pleasure revolutionists responsible for the most popular cones on the market. “As you plant yourself further and further down the length, the cone will provide a larger and larger stretch,” she says. “Take the stretch at a pace that feels comfortable and remember that you don’t have to go all the way down.”

Once you’re finished, don’t forget to clean your cone with fragrance-free soap and warm water. If the weight and shape of your cone makes it cumbersome to carry to the sink or shower, or it doesn’t fit in your sink, you could use a sex toy cleaner wipe instead.

The Best Cones to Buy Right Now

“Sex cones are still a much less common sex toy category compared to others,” according to Madsen, which means finding your perfect cone usually requires a little hunting. To make it easy for you, we put together this list of the best sex toy cones to purchase right now.

Best Overall Cone: Tantus Cone Small ($47)

Featuring eight inches of insertable length, the Tantus cone is far longer than it is wide, which makes it a great option for beginners who aren’t quite ready for a mega-stretch experience. At its thickest point, this beginner cone is two inches in diameter, however, the tip is quite pin-pointed, which allows for easy entry when used with lube.

Best Cone For Beginners: Tantus Inner Band Trainer ($67)

As one of the most flexible stretching cones on the market, the Tantus Inner Band Trainer is a dense cone sex toy that is designed to stretch the person riding it. The tip of this smooth toy is just half an inch thick, while the base is almost three inches. The toy has nine inches of insertable length, however, which enables the toy to reach its thickest point little by little.

Best Advanced Cone: Tantus Cone Ripple Firm ($184)

The Tantus Cone Ripple Firm may look like a silicone beehive, but it’s actually a textured cone that is designed for extreme penetrative acts. The tip of the toy is about the girth of three fingers, but make your way down its eight-inch length and it gradually expands to be five inches in diameter. While this anal-friendly toy is dangerous for beginners, it can be an extremely pleasurable and accessible way for those looking to achieve a similar stretch as fisting or double-penetration during masturbation.

Best Vibrating Cone: The Cowgirl Cone ($325)

The Cowgirl Cone is a cone-shaped, portable sex machine. While the machine is dense enough to be ridden and mounted by people of any shape or size, the toy is also lightweight enough to transport in a backpack. The best part? The rumbly vibrations of the machine can be controlled either on the machine, via a remote control, or on the The Cowgirl app.

Gabrielle Kassel is a sex and wellness journalist who writes at the intersection of queerness, sexual health, and pleasure. In addition to PS, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Women’s Health, Health, Self, Men’s Health, Greatist, and more.