Photo: Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images
Vin Diesel celebrated every facet of his fatherhood this Father’s Day. What does that mean? Glad you asked! Diesel acknowledged his kids in the post, sure, but only in passing and as part of a dinner invite to Vladimir Putin.
First, Diesel frames himself as the patriarch of the entire Fast family. The Father’s Day Instagram picture is what Diesel describes as “the concept art from Fast X.” (Side note: Diesel describes the film as “the American road trip,” so that’s a little plot detail to keep in mind.)
Second, Diesel links Father’s Day with the Riddick franchise. Does Richard B. Riddick prioritize family in the same way as Dom Toretto? No, but Diesel has been midwifing this franchise for nearly as long. Diesel famously agreed to cameo in The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift in exchange for the rights to the character — setting in motion both the greater Riddickverse and the Fast movies’ bonkers chronology. On Fathers Day 2024, Vin spent the day location scouting for Riddick: Furya. But it’s the last part of Vin’s Papa Post that took things to a global scale.
“On a side note… I saw warships off my country’s shores. Hmmm. I’m not the Tucker type….” he wrote. “As a father my kids live in that country. Hmmm. Putin, I will fly to the Caribbean. Come have dinner. Let’s not let foolishness dictate the future. #happyfathersday.” We’re left with many questions for Dom, namely:
➽ Who is or is not the “Tucker type,” and which Tucker we talkin’ ‘bout? Carlson? Chris? Famous vaudeville comedienne Sophie Tucker, the Last of the Red Hot Mamas?
➽ “As a father my kids live in that country.” Does Vin Diesel only care about America (we are talking about America, right?) because his children live there? Or are all American’s Vin’s kids? Are we all in the Fast family?
➽ Is Putin in the Caribbean?
➽ What kind of dinner can Vin Diesel have with Putin that will heal international relations? The drinks will be Coronas, natch, but what entree? What side? Should they have Baked Alaska for dessert, or would that be seen as poking the bear, diplomatically speaking?
Anyway, #happyfatehrsday to all the dads in all the countries. Riddick: Furya begins production this August.