Rapsody Had to Be Fearless

The rap world knows Rapsody can rhyme with the best of them. Her accomplishments reflect that: She’s managed by Jay-Z’s Roc Nation, she earned Grammy nominations for her solo work, and she held her own on songs with greats like Kendrick Lamar, Queen Latifah, and Black Thought. But when it comes to her home life, the North Carolina MC doesn’t subject herself to the constant, unbridled access some fans feel entitled to. It’s not that her music doesn’t get personal — her first two albums, Laila’s Wisdom and Eve, both have their share of vulnerable moments. But she has mostly earned her stripes through her lyrical wit and conceptual prowess, like on Eve, where each song was named after an influential Black woman. In the music video for her new song, “Stand Tall,” Rapsody explains the reason she avoids giving listeners a more unvarnished look behind the scenes. “The family I grew up in, you don’t tell a lot of business,” she says. “The era I love, it’s a code: You don’t give people too much.”

That changed on her new album, Please Don’t Cry. Across 22 tracks, Rapsody finally allows fans a closer look as she rues the highs and lows of a tumultuous and ethically complicated love life, grieves the debilitating health of family members, and reflects on how her faith has gotten her through difficult times. “The beautiful thing about this album is I got to learn how I can allow myself to be human,” she tells Vulture, “and still keep the really important things that I want to keep to myself.“

“Marlana” | “Asteroids” | “Look What You’ve Done” | “DND (It’s Not Personal” | “Black Popstar” | “Stand Tall” | “That One Time” | “3:AM” | “Loose Rocks” | “Diary of a Mad Bitch” | “Never Enough” | “He Shot Me” | “God’s Light” | “Back In My Bag” | “Raw” | “Lonely Women” | “A Ballad for Homegirls” | “Faith” | “Forget Me Not”

The pressure made a ruby
The disrespect gon’ make you meet the rude me
Been too peace, in a two-piece I found peace
On an island in the southeast
Single, solo, but I ain’t ringless

Not getting the credit you deserve feels like a theme throughout the album. What kind of disrespect have you faced in the industry? 
It would just be some conversations I’ve heard throughout my career, whether it was somebody calling me a “pick me” or a “hotep,” or the idea of boxing you in as a female rapper. She’s boring, can’t make a hit — all those things people use to downplay your gift, your talent, and your art, which has nothing to do with music at the end of the day. The lyric was just me having a moment as a creative, and talking about how we’re human too. And “The pressure made a diamond” — the pressure can fold you, but it didn’t for me; it just made me bigger and stronger. You know, you gotta unplug sometimes. I took my first vacation ever in life in 2021. I went to Anguilla and sat on the beach for days. It’s important to put the phone down, to go out and take a walk, to sit in the sun, to be with your family. You have to create peace for yourself.

Why hadn’t you been on vacation before that?
I didn’t know that life. I grew up working. My mom and dad, I watched them work hard. They don’t take vacations. Their vacation is my mom is home on the weekend, doing the yard. Also, coming into this profession, I wasn’t satisfied with where I was. It wasn’t the level of success I wanted. So for me, it was a “the job isn’t done”–type mentality. You can rest when you reach a goal, but until then, go to work. Because while you rest, somebody else is in the booth. That’s just how I looked at it. But now I know it’s important to continue to refill your cup.

If they can’t benefit off you, then they act shady
I thought most the love would come back from my ladies
’Bout 60-40, I’m just making observation 

Who’s been acting shady?
I don’t really get too deep into it. I put it in the music without needing to name names. They know who they are. Some things I have to keep for myself. But that’s just inspiration for anybody that has people around them that it’s not love, and the energy’s not really welcoming and not supported. You have to validate yourself and also protect your energy and not carry what other people do to you.

When you say, “I thought the most love would come back from my ladies,” are you speaking about a lack of love from female fans or from other female MCs?
“I thought the respect would come mostly from our ladies” is just me talking about being a fan of hip-hop. When I got the opportunity to come in and contribute, I always thought, as a Black woman, that my fan base would be mostly Black women. And it’s been mostly men. But at times, some of the most negative comments I would get would come from Black women. I always try to understand things critically and think through it. “Why do these particular women, not all, feel the need to look at me this way? Why do you think I’m a pick-me? Why do you think I’m a hotep? What is wrong with loving your Blackness? When did that become a negative thing?” It was just me thinking through it and wanting to figure out how I can have a better connection. But it’s beautiful, because, on this side of the spectrum, there’s so much love from women, particularly Black women … It makes me want to also be a better mentor in this game. I’ve been in it a long time now, and when I meet younger women that are coming up, I’ll send them a DM like, “Oh, you’re fire and killing it.”

I wonder all the time why Lauryn left
Some days I feel I’ll do the exact same thing
The whips, chains, money, and fame talk
That pressure made a diamond, I put that in a ring

What’s the closest you’ve felt to leaving the game? 
Probably around the end of 2020 into 2021. I started working on this album in 2020. But I had gotten in the space of, “Do I still want to do this? Is there still space for me? Do people even care?” At the time, I’m still thinking about accolades and boxes that people think you have to check to be successful. It’s possible I may never have a hit single in my life. It’s not to say I won’t have great music and classic albums, but I’m like, “Is it time for me to pivot and do something different? I’m not 19, I’m not 20. What does the age-out process look like?” I just had to get through that.

Later in the verse, you speak about how the Grammys were the first to nominate you, but that you didn’t get as much love in Black spaces.
I didn’t really understand what the Grammys was and how important it was until To Pimp a Butterfly, when I got my first nomination for being on that project. I grew up on the BET Awards, Soul Train Awards, NAACP Awards. Those are the things that held value to me, because that’s where I saw myself, that’s where I saw my people, that’s where I saw us celebrating us in our art. So that was the height for me. But the Grammys were the first ones to nominate me. One was through Kendrick, which was not my own work, but then I got nominated twice for Laila’s Wisdom. It was like, “I’m so appreciative to have that moment. I’m thankful. But damn, I wish my first nomination could have been from a Black awards show.” To be celebrated by your people and your culture, it just hits different.

Whatever you ’bout to ask me for
My money, my time, or my energy
That’s on lock, like money, power, respect are

On this song, you’re speaking about wanting your time, money, and energy to yourself. When did you begin to get all of these requests from people around you?
I’ve always been a giver. Even when I didn’t have, I figured out a way to give in some way. I remember splitting four-piece chicken nuggets. It was never really about me; it’s about making sure we all were good. Maybe it’s what they define as survivor’s guilt. I get successful more and more every year, and there’ll be people closest to you that contributed to your journey in some shape, form, or fashion, and they may still be on their own particular journey where they still have challenges. For me, if somebody called me in that space, and they needed help, and I had it to give, I always felt like, “I’m thankful that I at least have it where I can help you.” I felt like they deserved it. But I had to learn — Kendrick told me this years ago: I was asking for advice on how you balance it all, and he told me, “You have to be humble enough to say yes, and strong enough to say no.” I’ve gotten a lot better with saying no.

Time to bring the motherfuckin’ Black pop star back
No cap like graduate, pimp like Pontiac
These heaux-ass niggas ain’t got no Cartier
Black Hollywood came to your city looking pretty

I know this is Dixson’s lyric, not yours, but it felt like the best line that represents this song. Where did the idea for the track come from? And like what is it about the idea of the Black pop star that resonates so much for you?
That’s a song I had done for a different album I was working that was a little brighter and more fun. Before Dixson got on it, I think I called it “Pontiac Flow.” I didn’t have a real direction, I just loved the beat and I wrote whatever came out. Dixson approached it more from the “Black pop star” angle. He would always have this conversation like, “Yo, we need to bring Black pop stars back.” The record just felt good, and I wanted to add that energy to the project. But you know, Black pop stars, it’s just Black popular music. That’s how I look at it. Let’s bring back Black popular music that stands the test of time.

Do you aspire to be a Black pop star yourself? 
No, I don’t. It’s never really been a big aspiration. I just wanted to be successful, be able to pay my bills, and shop at all the places I want to. [Laughs] But most importantly, I just wanted to make music that will inspire and connect with people.

Judgement’s on me, they wondering if I’m a “eat the coochie” fan
All because I choose to style in sneakers and some baggy pants
Used to make me aggy, wanna black out like the Aggie fans
I suffer from anxiety
Doctors probably tired of me
Tryna meditate to calm my heart, it’s racing like a ambulance

When did you begin to notice speculation around your personal life?
Since the beginning, when only a handful of people knew me. I’ve always been a tomboy. I’ve always dressed a certain way, rapped a certain way, walked a certain way. I love basketball. So naturally, people love to judge you from the outside; you fit the mold of what “a stud” would be. So that’s just what it was. I approached that by talking about how judgment is just wack. Get to know people! At the end of the day, I’m living so much life, that’s the last thing I’m worried about, explaining myself to you. Because I have anxiety attacks, I have family that’s sick, and I’m living in real life.

How do rumors like that impact how you feel about yourself?
You have to learn how to protect energy and what you feed into. But it didn’t change me and what I thought about myself and how I move. You see me, I’m still okay. I just go about my day. But I just look at it like, people are so dumb. How can you be that ignorant?

Looking in the mirror
Asking my inner child what I’m missing?
What’s wrong wit me?
That’s what’s wrong wit me
Felt x’d out by my ex’s and mama’s wisdom

This is a pretty heavy record: You speak about not feeling wanted by men, sexual experimentation with a woman, having an affair with a married person, and how all of this contrasts with your faith in terms of how you were raised. Did you resolve all of this personally before you made the song, or was the song your attempt at figuring all of this out?
It was just in the midst of the process. Of course, even to get there and have the realization that you do have to look in your mirror and ask yourself what’s wrong, you have to go through a process of healing or looking within and asking yourself some questions. You have to have some resolve. But there’s still so much more healing to do. This was just in the midst of it. I learned so much more after that.

Going back to what you said about making the decision to keep certain things to yourself, what made you settle on actually releasing this?
I thought it was important for people to hear. I talk a lot to my friends about allowing people to see you’re not perfect. Do you have to get this personal? No. But this was for me. I want to be fearless. I want to say, this is the human part of me. I’m not, like, this golden, perfect person who makes all the best decisions. I’m living life and going through the things like you do.

It was scary — not so much for the world or outside people, but the people closest to me. You don’t want to disappoint with some of your decisions. But the beautiful thing I learned from writing this record, and the people that I have played it for, is that there are a lot of people that can relate to it. They’re like, thank you. I went through this, I had this experience, I did that. It’s really about me being a mirror for other people and being fearless in being that.

I’m not afraid to share with you what hurt me
You feel like a healer
I know I’m imperfect
Though you make me feel like Jesus
Or how God sees us

This is a beautiful song, especially coming after the last one. Did you write this once you fell in love again, or were you sharing what you’d like to look forward to in a new relationship? 
It was a song I wrote after having gone through a relationship that ended, and me focusing on what was beautiful about it. Appreciating the experience and what they taught me about what love feels like. I’ve been in love, I’ve been in relationships, but there’s always this one that grows you and you’re like, “This is what love feels like.” Even though it ended, this is what I know the standard is for me.

I was telling a complete story. “Man, this experience is so beautiful. I learned this, they made me feel accepted, I felt safe with them. I was able to give everything and be comfortable.” Then, on the last part, which is more spoken word, I talk about what it feels like when the love is not the same anymore. You love them, but you’re not in love anymore. And even though you need to do it for your own happiness and peace, it’s still not easy, and it still hurts. You still grieve people. That’s just that’s just the reality of loving.

It breaks my heart to know you gon’ forget us
Dementia touch your memory
You like my second mother
The symptoms worsen every time I drop by for a visit
The stories entertaining, even if they’re mostly fiction”

You said that this person was like your second mother. How did you meet her?
She’s my aunt, my mom’s sister. I come from a huge family. My grandparents instilled in us the importance of showing up for family. My cousins are like my brothers and sisters. All my aunts are like my second mothers. My grandparents died, and my aunt is the oldest, so she was the next in line to hold the maternal torch. But she also helped raise me. I didn’t go to day care, I went to my aunt’s house.

I’m too raw for Jodys and young niggas who only text wit emojis
Big egos, you make it way too easy for RICO
How you have the blueprint and the sequel and still fuck up?
Middle finger to the Feds using our lyrics, that’s some bitch shit

You talk about how wack it is for Feds to use lyrics in court, but you also talk about how artists make it too easy for RICO. Why was it important to mention both sides of that?
Because I think it’s a complete story. Two things can still be true at the same time, right? It’s like yo, Jay gave us the blueprint. We know they’re always out to get us, always out to villainize hip-hop and villainize you. So don’t make it easy for them. Don’t put it all out in the music. Be an artist, be creative, and protect yourself. If you really do raw stuff in your life, don’t confess to an on record, bro.

But the Feds trying to use our lyrics, that is some bitch shit, because you have to respect the art and creativity of hip-hop, too. All those stories are not true stories. The same way you go to the movies, it’s not all true. So how can you use hip-hop and no other genre? Country music, you don’t go get them. Don’t make hip-hop the villain, but rule number one, don’t put all the business from the streets in the song.

I can throw stars in the ceiling
But can’t make space in your heart
I know the part I played
I live with it all
I regret, I disconnect
Yeah, that’s mostly my fault

I think this might be my favorite lyric on the album. What inspired it? 
I had to learn a lesson that you can’t buy love. You can be in love with somebody, but the things you do for them, how you show up, you can’t buy their love back. Love shouldn’t be hard in that way, it shouldn’t be challenging.

LeBron James once said, “You have to sacrifice loved ones to be great.” He was speaking about how much time he’s dedicating to his craft, and how he can’t spend as much time with his family as he wants to. Do you see yourself making similar sacrifices?
I wouldn’t call it sacrificing loved ones. Maybe the opposite: loved ones that sacrifice themselves. I just look at it as sometimes you outgrow people. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore. Again, you have to be okay with saying no. I think those are the two biggest things. I’ve had friendships where I was really close to somebody, and I’m not as close anymore because I’m just a different person. So, no, I don’t necessarily want to hang around you, I don’t want to have long conversations with you. Because the frequency you’re on, I’m on something else, and I gotta protect this part of me that I’ve worked so hard to grow and blossom.

In the memory of the Rastas who forewarned us for Breonna
We still dealing with the trauma
Praying for the mommas
Civil suits, they give us loot
But ain’t no healing in the commas

You speak about Breonna Taylor’s death on this song. Did you write this shortly after it happened and it’s just now coming out, or was it written a while after?
I want to say we did this record in late 2022, early 2023. I think the case happened in 2020. But I’ve worked a lot with activist Tamika Mallory and Until Freedom, and I’ve been on this Breonna Taylor case, and I know her mom, Tamika Palmer; I love her. Breonna’s case has been going on for years. We saw the trial was one part of it, but they’ve still been fighting for other things. So it’s been at the forefront of my mind. I also talked about Sean Bell in the second verse, and that happened so many years ago, but it’s a story that’s always stuck with me. I spend a lot of time putting a light on me on this record, but part of me too is that I care about my people and what happens in the world. So I wanted to do a song specifically mentioning Breonna Taylor because I was so close to it.

Blind faith, confirmations come with belief
I didn’t mold in my tears, I was molded by all my grief

You grew up a Jehovah’s Witnesses. How do you identify with your faith now? 
I’m more spiritual than religious. So I just practice spirituality, and my relationship with God is my own. But there’s so much from growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness that I learned and I’m grateful that I had that foundation. I think it was a beautiful foundation for me, of what’s important in life. And the things that are of man is really not God’s work or worry. That’s why the idea of fame and fortune don’t really move me like that, because it’s so much deeper than those.

What kind of grief were you dealing with that molded you?
Grieving love and losing relationships. Losing family members. I lost a cousin through this recording process. Grieving friendships, grieving parts of you that change or that you have to let go as you grow. It was a lot of things to process at one time.

Cried over Malcolm
I cried over Dolphin
I’m crying for Nipsey
Been feeling like Lauren
Carry the cross
Got the sun in my eyes
Groom for this, I ain’t meant to be no bride
Unmarried but I know you still feel obliged

You’re talking about a lot of figures who have passed. What made you decide to create this song?
It was just real. I knew Nipsey, I knew Mac Miller. I didn’t know Dolph as well, but I got to interview him once. I see them as human. I see them as my fathers, my brothers, my uncles, my cousins, my nephews — all of them. It’s really heartbreaking when we have to experience tragedy in that way. It shifts people’s whole world. You don’t outgrow grief. It sits in you. It doesn’t get any smaller; you just get stronger, but you always feel it. That’s the tragedy of it. We like to find the silver lining — “That was their path.” Yes, Nipsey is even bigger and his impact is even deeper because of the tragedy, but that is a testament of how he lived his life and the things that he did and spoke about. But he didn’t have to die for us to still be impacted and appreciative of his work. So it’s just really capturing the humanness of how I felt.

It ain’t even just about rappers. We’re speaking particularly about violence. You have Black men and women that are beefing, and they can’t see themselves in each other. You’re so much more alike than that whatever this disagreement is. But it’s sad that the world has allowed us to have that much angst that we take it out on each other, that we can’t see that we’re fighting the same fight. It blows my mind.

Y’all takin’ life and judging Nick Cannon
That feel wrong
But, maybe that’s too raw
Fuck it, I’ll carry on

I think the line itself is self-explanatory, but I’m curious what inspired it.
I mean, this is rolled over to that prior subject. “Nick Cannon out here having all these babies is so irresponsible.” I’m not here to argue if it is or if it isn’t. But what I see is that regardless, he’s stepping up and being a father. You can debate about the time he has to spend — doesn’t matter, he’s there for his children. Meanwhile, we’re out here killing each other and taking life. If he’s gonna bring life into the world, at least he’s pouring into that life. So it was just like, this is a perspective I’ve had, I’m gonna just leave it here.

You’ve made songs with a lot of GOATs at this point — Kendrick, J. Cole, Black Thought, Common. Lil Wayne is on this song. How do you approach those verses compared to other tracks?
No different. For me, it’s not about “I’m about to do a song with Kendrick, or Cole, or whoever.” It’s just, we have the beat, so what are we talking about? And I just tell it in my way. I don’t overthink it. It ain’t like I’m going in like, “I’ma eat you!” Am I competitive? Yes. But the music is the biggest ego in the room. I’m always going to give my best for me, because I know that’s good enough.

I will say, Wayne is the only person that I’ve worked with that I rewrote my verse. And it wasn’t even that I was trying to out-rap him. The version that you have on the project is not the first version. It was a different beat. It was brighter, had a bigger hook. My first verse was 16 bars. Before he got on it, I just approached it like, “Yo, I just want to do something that’s fun that might be a little easier for somebody to learn.” But when I got his verse back, it inspired me. I was like, “Yo, he ate this so much. I want to match that approach to the record.” Wayne is arguably top two, the elite of the elite. I studied Wayne, he’s one of my inspirations. But I wanted to match for the culture and make a really dope joint where two elite MCs are just being lyrical and loving hip-hop.

She pour into herself like squeezing OJ first thing in the morning
Learn to love yourself like foreplay
Settling ain’t her forte
Rings don’t make her happy
Healing all her fractures
Protecting who gets access

You reference this earlier in the album in terms of people talking about your sex life. A lot of fans bring you up as the opposite of these other women artists who are known for being overtly sexual in their music or their presentation. How much does that perception impact the way that you approach a song like this?
Not much at all. The whole thing about this album was allowing people to see my humanness. I’m not in a relationship, I’m not having sex right now with anyone; I haven’t for a while. I please myself sometimes. But what’s beautiful is I get to show people that I am human. But there are ways that we can talk about sex that’s still different. It can be raw, it can be creative. You can talk about sex in so many different ways. So this is just my way and how I talk about sexual things. It’s going to catch a lot of people off guard, but it’s real.

I need some peace, not codependency
I’m sure that’s what you see
But tell me what you think?
Girl yo, give me some honesty

Who are the women you’ve been able to confide in through situations like this? 
My village is varied. I have some friends that I’ve known ten-plus years that have nothing to do with music. I have friends that I’ve met through people in the industry. I have people that are in the industry and music and film that have become friends in recent years that are part of my village — people that I work every day with that I’ve grown relationships with. And I still have my sisters, and I have childhood friends. We may not talk every day, we may not talk once in nine months, but when we do talk, we catch up and talk about life. It’s been beautiful to my journey in music to create a village of amazing women that I’m so thankful for.

Reciting Hebrew
The devil fell from heaven
Patched his wings, kissed his boo-boos
My spirit broken so I know faith is what I can’t lose
Regardless of the hardship I wake up to

What made you decide to use faith as such a vital theme here, especially toward the end of the album?
I have to give credit for that to Major Seven, who produced this. He’s such a brilliant mind and producer. We would go through premade beats and he sends me samples. But this one in particular was a song that somebody had, the part that we sampled. I’m like, “This is beautiful, you think they’ll let us use it?” They really set the tone of faith. I take people on this album through a whole journey, from beginning to end, of healing, trying to find myself, and coming out on the other end. This record is about how none of that happens without God, and taking pause and making space to speak about that. We’re all going to go through challenges; every day is not going to be sunny. But we have to lean into it and trust God and have God be able to get through the other side and remain faithful. It was just a reminder for those that are currently having challenges: Don’t give up. You’ll get to the other side, and it’s such a beautiful place, but you have to have faith.

You shouldn’t have to feel pain or hurt really
To have to try to release that ocean of sadness every day

What made you decide to end the album with this, where you’re speaking to the listener instead of rapping?
No I.D. During the process of this album, I went to see him, and that was one of the joints I played. He had heard all of the songs, and he was like, “This one right here, where you’re you just talking? This is the one most personal one up here.”

I just loved the simplicity of it. I just want to talk to you. I want you to feel like you’re sitting with me and I’m just sharing. You go through this journey, and you heal, but you’re gonna continue to evolve. You allow yourself to be human, have faith, feel, and that’s it.